YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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