i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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