you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
