I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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