so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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