dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
