have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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