So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
