Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
