please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
