i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize