i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
