Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize