I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Randomize
