Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
