I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
They have beer where we have blood.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
