if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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