But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She told me I should be a condom model.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
