...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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