Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
