White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
