eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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