Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
