I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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