I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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