Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I smell stomach acid.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
