like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
