i don't like sucking hair
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
