You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
