That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Are we still banned from the library?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
