so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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