But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Michael Bay diarrhea
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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