he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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