If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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