I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
