i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
