:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
