love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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