Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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