Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
