she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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