does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
