I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
