The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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