I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
