Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
