New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
