look no pants
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
