My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
