So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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