I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
