Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
