is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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