its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
