im gay
i know
yea but for you.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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