There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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