i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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