I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
