apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize