But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
