They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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