if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
