I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
