brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
is wine microwaveable?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
